Love and commitments and all that shiz… ðŸ’­ðŸ’˜

It’s so sad that we live in a generation where it’s okay to fall in and out of “love” just like that! Where it’s okay to go around and keep seeing other fish out there, cause no one’s looking for “commitment”(and it’s so much more convenient now isn’t it? One left swipe and phew!)

The moment the C word comes into a conversation, people start pulling the plugs on their relationships. Nobody wants to make an effort and nobody wants to take the first step towards building together and seeing it through. 

You want someone to be your light at the end of a dark day but are not comfortable to enlighten them; you don’t let them in. Because well, your space. You don’t want to lose that. You don’t want them to see your vulnerable side. (But love makes you vulnerable! It makes you strong; yes; to face your demons, to face the world. But between the two of you, it can overwhelm you too much for you to handle.)

So now you decide to simply not utter the 3 sacred words and you think all’s well. Because the L word is out of the picture! 

But is it, really? You spend time with each other, just like friends do. Because hey, remember we’re not calling anybody “lovers” here.! So you say this comes with no attachments. But attachments are formed and expectations develop and then one of you maybe are courageous enough to speak it up. To confess your feelings. And all shit goes down! Because you were not prepared to feel so vulnerable when your beloved “friend” walks away from all this emo drama that you are trying to burden them with and which you both so casually and coolly decided to refrain from.

And that’s when it hits you, that you were actually right! You indeed shouldn’t have gone down this path of attachments and commitments and after a few months of sloshed weekends with your friends and maybe a few drunken calls or texts, you put yourself out there and the vicious cycle  begins. And this time you are even more determined to not fall in the trap!

So you see how you’ve got yourself to believe that you are so unworthy of love and affection;  trust and commitment, that you keep losing yourself a little, each time you do this?  And sadly our generation believes that this is it. That the golden days of romance, courtship and beautiful relationships are the privilege of only a few. And while finding true love is indeed rare and special, our beloved “millennials” believe that they are in fact doomed for love. 

And all I can think of to say to them is that a very sentimental and genuine man( most of you know him by the name Ted Mosby) one said,

“But love doesn’t make sense! You cannot logic  your way into or out of it. Or else we are lost and love is dead. And humanity should just pack it in; because love is the best think that we do.”


Choice.

The more she  thought about it, the more she would realise the ridiculousness of it all.

It amused her how only a few months ago, clinging onto hope seemed like the most difficult thing ever.

And today, it came to her as naturally as breathing.

She paid a price of course, to achieve this. To become this person.

But the things that once seemed like life shattering and losing her mind over,

Now seemed like a lifetime away, or rather she left that miserable person to sulk in that limbo
Because today when she looks into the mirror, she is okay to know that things are not going her way today;

And that they might not for a while, but she puts on her kohl and goes on with the day.

Not because she thinks she doesn’t have a choice but in fact because she knows it’s her choice. That she is choosing happiness over broken dreams in hopes to mend those broken pieces. 

She knows that what doesn’t kill you, well it doesn’t kill you because you are stronger; stronger than you think you are. And anyone telling you otherwise; well just let them be.

It wasn’t enough

He wanted to love her, the same way she wanted him to

She wanted his love, his warmth, his affection, his all

But his heart was just not ready to take the fall

He thought he could give her his all

But all he could give her was a phone call

She was his friend, was all he could see

To him, It was all that they could be

 

She had built a castle of dreams, only for her to see

But when her castle broke into pieces

He tried so hard to mend it, 

For she was his best friend, his soul mate 

And yet that still wasn’t enough


The fall that we have all taken at some point in our lives….💔💭

You walked into my life when I least expected it
So much so that the first time has faded into a blurred memory 

With my mind trying to recrete the memory and failing miserably each time

Who knew that this was all a scheme

That time had in store for me?

Do you see how my face brightens up just seeing you smile?
Is that a twinkling in your eyes I see when I look into them? 

Or is that just a little figment of my imagination?

Maybe you don’t see it; maybe you do

But I do, I see  everything; or so I think

Because when I do think about it, it all vanishes in a blink

Torn between waiting for you to come around or protect my heart and let go

Don’t know which one’s tougher though,

Waiting for something that’s also maybe waiting for me

Or walking away from something that I am not even sure could ever be mine? 

I can now say I’ve had a glimpse of paradise â¤ðŸ˜‡

It had been 10 years since we all were heading onto an adventure together. Maybe calling it an adventure is an overstatement but for us this was it. The first trip we ever made was at a time when for me,  being in senior kindergarten, made me feel so important than my sibling who is a year younger to me and today, look at us. The 5 sisters who have grown into wonderful women, some married and one with even a miniature copy of herself!

So this was a trip that was being planned for more than a year. We were so excited to finally be able to visit the beautiful valley of Kashmir that we had heard and read so much about. But the fact that all of us being reunited and some even accompanied by their better halves, was what we looked forward to the most.
As we were about to board the flight, I felt a nagging sensation like I was leaving something behind. It bothered me quite more than I’d like to admit (though that is a story for another time) but seeing all those bright cheerful faces even before the break of dawn, all fears fled away. As we waited for the flight to take off, for what seemed like eternity, our zeal knew no bounds when we finally were up in the air. And oh boy, nothing beats that amazing feeling we felt as we were slowly heading towards Srinagar airport, gazing at the snow clad mountains that were going to be our home for the coming 8 days. Just the sight of this heavenly place from mid air was enough to rejuvenate us even after having a sleepless night.

As we landed at the airport, Imtiaz bhai was waiting for us with a placard of our name in his hand. A little intimidated at first (we hear so much about things happening in Kashmir, that we form a habit to look at people skeptically) but after the first few rounds of hellos, things went pretty smooth from there.

Different Shades of Jannat


Our first night in Srinagar was to be spent in a houseboat in the world famous Dal Lake and boy, those houseboats were nothing like I’d imagined. So huge with numerous rooms and you know what the best part was? It stood still, its deonar wood is so strong and it becomes stronger when immersed in water for long periods! So we spent the evening roaming in the lovely Shikaras and enjoyed the cold crisp weather of the lake, as we danced and sang for hours on the porch. Tired, I was off to sleep as soon as I lay on my bed and I couldn’t have been happier to wake up to a morning like that. The calm of the lake water, the cool wind blowing in my face soothed  by the warm sun rays that fell on my skin, surrounded by mountains on each end and only my thoughts to accompany  me! I had found my happy place right there 😀 Of course not for long but that’s okay :p

“Ye Ishq Haye, Baithe Bithaye, Jannat Dikhaye Haa😍”

As we bid our farewell to our houseboat keeper who took utmost care of us and made us feel like home, we headed out for the snow clad town of Gulmarg. So much snow that there are actually no residents living in Gulmarg; only tourist accommodations! As we were passing through the winding roads onto our hotel, the only description I can come up with for how I felt at that time was awe-struck. Yes, I was lost for words to see the beauty of the white carpet laid out all around the hilly slopes right outside our hotel. And as if that wasn’t enough, we wanted to experience the view from the top of the mountain! We were warned about the lack of oxygen and extremely thin air up there but our excitement took over and we didn’t look back. As we stepped out of the world’s highest Gondola at 14000ft, the gush of the wind blowing into our faces and the exhilarating view was literally breathtaking! I felt like my heart would explode, so much beauty; I was afraid my heart wouldn’t be able to behold . It was heaven right there, I swear! 😍❤

After hours of playing in the snow and having done the super fast snow bike rides (made me feel like driving a batmobile to say the least :p) and some skiing, a plate of hot maggi and the amazing “kashmiri kawa” seemed like just the balm my body needed. And as we finally came down with heavy hearts, I can safely say that Gulmarg is going to be etched in our memories forever!

Betaab Valley

Our next destination was Pahalgam and I was looking forward to this place the most. After spending 2 days surrounded by lush white carpet of snow all around, I was longing to see some green in the valley. And although this year’s heavy snowfall didn’t give us quite the real look of Pahalgam, it indeed was a refresher to see tall pine trees standing on the banks of the Lidder river. What really struck me was how beautifully nature can play tricks with us. On one side, there was the snow clad river bank and right next to it, the river was flowing peacefully; oblivious to the snow all around! In this really small town of Pahalgam, the most fascinating thing we did was their famous pony rides. We were not quite comfortable at first with sitting on the ponies but realizing that it was the only way to go where we wanted to, we reluctantly sat on the ponies. I was so scared, I hadn’t sat on a horse in almost 15 years! And to make things even difficult, “Bulbul”, my pony liked to run and i have to say those 2 hours were certainly the most trying 2 hours of my life! But I would also be lying if I said that it was not worth it. Traversing across waterfalls, mountainous roads covered with more than 2 ft of snow and only the guide and the ponies to accompany was definitely an experience to last a lifetime.

Different Shades Of Jannat

The next day we set out to come back to Srinagar and our enthusiasm was on cloud 9 as we reached Asia’s largest Tulip garden that we were so lucky to have witnessed. It opens for a maximum of 30 days in a year and we reached right when the Tulip festival commences! I have to say, I had undermined the sheer beauty of the garden in my mind because I couldn’t fathom how a mere garden could attract so many visitors. But as soon as I stepped in and saw the vast array of tulips and daffodills, surrounded by black mountains and clouds hovering above, just enough to let some sun rays in, I was left speechless. And I have to admit, the beautiful valley and people of Kashmir have left me speechless for more times in just 8 days than I’ve ever been made to feel that way.

On our last day, as we reached the airport, I could see that not only us but even Imtiaz bhai looked sad as we said our goodbyes and clicked one last selfie together.
I could go on and on about the scintillating views of this Jannat I spent 8 days in, but there is something even more important I want to share with you all. During my stay there, all I kept wondering was how ill fated are the residents of Kashmir to be enduring so much blasphemy due to political and religious conflicts for so many decades! Those people there know nothing but love. They are one of the most sweetest people I’ve ever come across. I have traveled enough across India over the years to safely say that I’ve never seen people so humble and hospital to their guests as the Kashmiris. They are the living embodiment of “Atithi devo bhava” and I couldn’t help but gasp when Imtiaz bhai said that this beautiful land was completely shut down for 6 months. Of course I had read in news but I always thought media hypes issues (which it certainly does) but having spent some time there, I couldn’t help but feel heart broken to see the plight of people living there. Kashmir is called the valley of endless sorrows by many and I hope and pray to God, that all this conflict ends. The children of Kashmir deserve to grow up in a healthy environment and have access to all opportunities like the rest of the country.

A salute to our soldiers who are stationed at every 2-3km distance just so the civilians can hope to carry on with their days and sleep peacefully at night. They never know when someone will go up and shoot them! And indeed that is not even an overstatement. During the 8 days that we were there, some disturbances happened there cause of an encounter followed by protest and stone pelting on soldiers that left 24 of them injured. We even cancelled out on one destination because of chances of unrest. Our stars must be shining very brightly during the last week; because as soon as we landed in Mumbai, we got news of a grenade attack, just 5 kms away from Srinagar and things have not been fine ever since; what with the avalanche and glacial melting causing water levels to rise. My brother spoke to our Imtiaz bhai to check if things were okay but he sounded quite grim. I hope and pray that things mellow down soon.

To move onto a lighter note, I urge each and everyone to visit Kashmir once in their lifetime. It truly is paradise here on earth. 

But make sure, you carry appropriate lotions (hardly useful though) to protect yourself from skin tan!!
Friendly Warning : Chances are you’ll come back with a nose so black, you’ll wonder if its really you :p 🙈

Why…?💭🤔

Why, as we grow up, do we silently succumb into other people’s perceptions of us?

Why, as we grow up, do we bury ourselves underneath other people’s expectations of us?

Social media is flooded with posts like “somewhere between ____ & ____ , we all grow up”

And while growing up is only natural, why have we let it also kill our innocence, that happy go lucky child in us?

As kids, we had so many dreams, we wanted to shoot for the stars

And of course that was unrealistic, maybe for most of us

But that never stopped us from dreaming

Why, as we grow up, do we put a full stop to it? 

Why do we only open up hearts and spill out our innate desires, only when drowned in the modern day “amrut”?

Is it really so difficult to actually have a heart to heart talk with people? 

Well it probably is, but you’ll never know unless you try!.

So instead of staring at your screens and resenting the fact that you’ve grown up

Go talk to that person next you or make that text or phone call you’ve been detaing to make for months. Take that road trip with your friends, spend some time with your parents, learn that hobby you’ve spent years contemplating about. Dream, dream with your eyes closed, or eyes wide open. And don’t let anyone tell you that your dreams are too big. Because even if they are, they are yours and yours alone and nobody can take that away from you 😇

And maybe somewhere between today and tomorrow, when you realise you’ve grown up, maybe you’ll even stop and smile, and have a moment to yourself, knowing that you even found some happiness along the way 💫