Learning to live without you ðŸ’™

Looking at the empty side of your bed where you used to lay

I paused for a moment, only to just carry on with the rest of my day

All the people I met, asked me if I was doing okay

But did anyone actually care what I really wanted to say?

Could I tell them that my world was broken and it bores a hole in my chest?

That no matter what I do doesn’t seem to let me rest!

So all I say is I’m fine with a half-hearted smile

And off I go; so I can hide behind my work files

Day one had just begun

And I was already waiting for it to get done

As I head back to our now empty home

Hoping to hear your angry voice as I eat from that take out near our home

Only to realise that now I’ll never get to hear you say

Feeling sorry for all the times I told you to stay out of my way

As I silently cry myself to sleep

Only to wake up and weep; 

some more

With dreary eyes,

I look up at the skies

Wishing I could wrap my arms around you

Knowing that holding your photograph was the least I could do

And just like that I live out my days 

Trying to fit in the world again with every passing day

Scared that I might forget about you somewhere along the way

And so I got that promotion you said I always deserved, took that trip you so longed for, married the kind of girl you’d approve of; but I could never learn to be whole again. My world still remains broken. But my little one who’s graced by your halo I can surely tell, tries to make my world a better place because I know she is a part of me just as I was a part of you. 

Praying to the Almighty that she doesn’t share the same fate I did.

Even after so many years, when I sit by your grave; reminiscing all those years gone by, tears stream down my face and I feel something crack inside of me.

Because you taught me everything mum. Just not how to live without you 💔

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16 thoughts on “Learning to live without you ðŸ’™

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