Love and commitments and all that shiz… 💭💘

It’s so sad that we live in a generation where it’s okay to fall in and out of “love” just like that! Where it’s okay to go around and keep seeing other fish out there, cause no one’s looking for “commitment”(and it’s so much more convenient now isn’t it? One left swipe and phew!)

The moment the C word comes into a conversation, people start pulling the plugs on their relationships. Nobody wants to make an effort and nobody wants to take the first step towards building together and seeing it through. 

You want someone to be your light at the end of a dark day but are not comfortable to enlighten them; you don’t let them in. Because well, your space. You don’t want to lose that. You don’t want them to see your vulnerable side. (But love makes you vulnerable! It makes you strong; yes; to face your demons, to face the world. But between the two of you, it can overwhelm you too much for you to handle.)

So now you decide to simply not utter the 3 sacred words and you think all’s well. Because the L word is out of the picture! 

But is it, really? You spend time with each other, just like friends do. Because hey, remember we’re not calling anybody “lovers” here.! So you say this comes with no attachments. But attachments are formed and expectations develop and then one of you maybe are courageous enough to speak it up. To confess your feelings. And all shit goes down! Because you were not prepared to feel so vulnerable when your beloved “friend” walks away from all this emo drama that you are trying to burden them with and which you both so casually and coolly decided to refrain from.

And that’s when it hits you, that you were actually right! You indeed shouldn’t have gone down this path of attachments and commitments and after a few months of sloshed weekends with your friends and maybe a few drunken calls or texts, you put yourself out there and the vicious cycle  begins. And this time you are even more determined to not fall in the trap!

So you see how you’ve got yourself to believe that you are so unworthy of love and affection;  trust and commitment, that you keep losing yourself a little, each time you do this?  And sadly our generation believes that this is it. That the golden days of romance, courtship and beautiful relationships are the privilege of only a few. And while finding true love is indeed rare and special, our beloved “millennials” believe that they are in fact doomed for love. 

And all I can think of to say to them is that a very sentimental and genuine man( most of you know him by the name Ted Mosby) one said,

“But love doesn’t make sense! You cannot logic  your way into or out of it. Or else we are lost and love is dead. And humanity should just pack it in; because love is the best think that we do.”


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It wasn’t enough

He wanted to love her, the same way she wanted him to

She wanted his love, his warmth, his affection, his all

But his heart was just not ready to take the fall

He thought he could give her his all

But all he could give her was a phone call

She was his friend, was all he could see

To him, It was all that they could be

 

She had built a castle of dreams, only for her to see

But when her castle broke into pieces

He tried so hard to mend it, 

For she was his best friend, his soul mate 

And yet that still wasn’t enough


The fall that we have all taken at some point in our lives….💔💭

You walked into my life when I least expected it
So much so that the first time has faded into a blurred memory 

With my mind trying to recrete the memory and failing miserably each time

Who knew that this was all a scheme

That time had in store for me?

Do you see how my face brightens up just seeing you smile?
Is that a twinkling in your eyes I see when I look into them? 

Or is that just a little figment of my imagination?

Maybe you don’t see it; maybe you do

But I do, I see  everything; or so I think

Because when I do think about it, it all vanishes in a blink

Torn between waiting for you to come around or protect my heart and let go

Don’t know which one’s tougher though,

Waiting for something that’s also maybe waiting for me

Or walking away from something that I am not even sure could ever be mine? 

Tales of an estranged heart

I didn’t think we’d ever stand here at these crossroads
Not knowing if I’ll still find you by my side at the end of the road

Is it just me, or have we really come this far?

So far; that even the love in our hearts isn’t enough to heal the scars

It only seems like yesterday when we had it all planned

What now only seems like it could be wonderland

I won’t say I don’t love you anymore, cause that ain’t true

But maybe it does start to feel like after all it is untrue

Cause tell me, why am I not by your side when you need me the most

Knowing what it will cost you

Looks like after all this time, I’ve finally given up on us

With our dreams smeared like the colors on that canvas