Looking at the empty side of your bed where you used to lay
I paused for a moment, only to just carry on with the rest of my day
All the people I met, asked me if I was doing okay
But did anyone actually care what I really wanted to say?
Could I tell them that my world was broken and it bores a hole in my chest?
That no matter what I do doesn’t seem to let me rest!
So all I say is I’m fine with a half-hearted smile
And off I go; so I can hide behind my work files
Day one had just begun
And I was already waiting for it to get done
As I head back to our now empty home
Hoping to hear your angry voice as I eat from that take out near our home
Only to realise that now I’ll never get to hear you say
Feeling sorry for all the times I told you to stay out of my way
As I silently cry myself to sleep
Only to wake up and weep;
With dreary eyes,
I look up at the skies
Wishing I could wrap my arms around you
Knowing that holding your photograph was the least I could do
And just like that I live out my days
Trying to fit in the world again with every passing day
Scared that I might forget about you somewhere along the way
And so I got that promotion you said I always deserved, took that trip you so longed for, married the kind of girl you’d approve of; but I could never learn to be whole again. My world still remains broken. But my little one who’s graced by your halo I can surely tell, tries to make my world a better place because I know she is a part of me just as I was a part of you.
Praying to the Almighty that she doesn’t share the same fate I did.
Even after so many years, when I sit by your grave; reminiscing all those years gone by, tears stream down my face and I feel something crack inside of me.
Because you taught me everything mum. Just not how to live without you 💔