Love and commitments and all that shiz… 💭💘

It’s so sad that we live in a generation where it’s okay to fall in and out of “love” just like that! Where it’s okay to go around and keep seeing other fish out there, cause no one’s looking for “commitment”(and it’s so much more convenient now isn’t it? One left swipe and phew!)

The moment the C word comes into a conversation, people start pulling the plugs on their relationships. Nobody wants to make an effort and nobody wants to take the first step towards building together and seeing it through. 

You want someone to be your light at the end of a dark day but are not comfortable to enlighten them; you don’t let them in. Because well, your space. You don’t want to lose that. You don’t want them to see your vulnerable side. (But love makes you vulnerable! It makes you strong; yes; to face your demons, to face the world. But between the two of you, it can overwhelm you too much for you to handle.)

So now you decide to simply not utter the 3 sacred words and you think all’s well. Because the L word is out of the picture! 

But is it, really? You spend time with each other, just like friends do. Because hey, remember we’re not calling anybody “lovers” here.! So you say this comes with no attachments. But attachments are formed and expectations develop and then one of you maybe are courageous enough to speak it up. To confess your feelings. And all shit goes down! Because you were not prepared to feel so vulnerable when your beloved “friend” walks away from all this emo drama that you are trying to burden them with and which you both so casually and coolly decided to refrain from.

And that’s when it hits you, that you were actually right! You indeed shouldn’t have gone down this path of attachments and commitments and after a few months of sloshed weekends with your friends and maybe a few drunken calls or texts, you put yourself out there and the vicious cycle  begins. And this time you are even more determined to not fall in the trap!

So you see how you’ve got yourself to believe that you are so unworthy of love and affection;  trust and commitment, that you keep losing yourself a little, each time you do this?  And sadly our generation believes that this is it. That the golden days of romance, courtship and beautiful relationships are the privilege of only a few. And while finding true love is indeed rare and special, our beloved “millennials” believe that they are in fact doomed for love. 

And all I can think of to say to them is that a very sentimental and genuine man( most of you know him by the name Ted Mosby) one said,

“But love doesn’t make sense! You cannot logic  your way into or out of it. Or else we are lost and love is dead. And humanity should just pack it in; because love is the best think that we do.”


It wasn’t enough

He wanted to love her, the same way she wanted him to

She wanted his love, his warmth, his affection, his all

But his heart was just not ready to take the fall

He thought he could give her his all

But all he could give her was a phone call

She was his friend, was all he could see

To him, It was all that they could be

 

She had built a castle of dreams, only for her to see

But when her castle broke into pieces

He tried so hard to mend it, 

For she was his best friend, his soul mate 

And yet that still wasn’t enough


The fall that we have all taken at some point in our lives….💔💭

You walked into my life when I least expected it
So much so that the first time has faded into a blurred memory 

With my mind trying to recrete the memory and failing miserably each time

Who knew that this was all a scheme

That time had in store for me?

Do you see how my face brightens up just seeing you smile?
Is that a twinkling in your eyes I see when I look into them? 

Or is that just a little figment of my imagination?

Maybe you don’t see it; maybe you do

But I do, I see  everything; or so I think

Because when I do think about it, it all vanishes in a blink

Torn between waiting for you to come around or protect my heart and let go

Don’t know which one’s tougher though,

Waiting for something that’s also maybe waiting for me

Or walking away from something that I am not even sure could ever be mine? 

The foolish heart 💔

There’s this restlessness that I feel

Even when before God, I kneel

I can’t shake it, seems like it’s got under my skin

Don’t know when this will end, just hope it doesn’t break me from within

It’s not like I fear losing something

Because I behold nothing,

And yet I fear all the same

So many things are left unsaid

Wondering if they’ll ever get a chance to get out of my head

Even the little words that were said

Still make my face turn red

It’s like I’m holding on to a delicate thread

Oblivious to what it might do to me in the end

Maybe I should just let this slip away

Before it takes me down too, in its sway

But this foolish heart never listens

Maybe it’s just got used to being in this prison

Waiting for the stars to one day shine brighter than ever

When it’ll finally get its ” happy forever”

Tales of an estranged heart

I didn’t think we’d ever stand here at these crossroads
Not knowing if I’ll still find you by my side at the end of the road

Is it just me, or have we really come this far?

So far; that even the love in our hearts isn’t enough to heal the scars

It only seems like yesterday when we had it all planned

What now only seems like it could be wonderland

I won’t say I don’t love you anymore, cause that ain’t true

But maybe it does start to feel like after all it is untrue

Cause tell me, why am I not by your side when you need me the most

Knowing what it will cost you

Looks like after all this time, I’ve finally given up on us

With our dreams smeared like the colors on that canvas

The story that continues…❤💫

There is a sort of restlessness that was surrounding her. She often spent hours wondering if he felt the same kind of restlessness too. She wanted to say a lot of things and she probably did too, in her own subtle and yet quite conspicuous ways. Did he pick up those hints or did he simply just didn’t care enough to notice? She kept thinking. Yearning to know.

Little did she know that the grass on the other side was lurking underneath similar shadows

As he was strumming his guitar, he could swear he saw her face flashing before his eyes. He tried to beat this insane feeling by playing till his fingers bled but he didn’t realise he was fighting a losing battle.

In time he might realise that his desire to lose this battle had far outweighed his will to win it. But then again, maybe not?

Now she didn’t quite like not knowing. She liked to be in control of things. Uncertainty wasn’t her best friend. But since she didn’t really have any other options, she decided to befriend this uncertainty that had her engulfed.

And he; he decided to let fate play its game, because he was too broken to get played this time again. 

So they  talked to each other everyday. Obscure to the effect it had on both of them. She embraced this uncertainty like it was her best friend while he too, just went with the flow.
They didn’t know where this friendship would lead them. But they did know this. That they’ll always have a shoulder to cry on and a riot of laughter to light up their hearts in each other. 

They were treading on thin ice. Two friends walking a path they’ve known, but not quite knowing where it’s going to leave them. Leave them alone or together? 

Well, only time can tell…💕

Was it the start of something new?                                                               Only time will tell…💫💭

He had made up his mind, he wasn’t going to keep looking this time

And so had she, she had decided she was going to walk with an open heart this time

Oblivious to each other, the first moment just passed them by

And so did the second, and the third..

But then one day, she caught herself admiring him ruffling his hair,

And he couldn’t help but stop and stare in awe as she laughed her heart out

In a sea full of people, hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at them,

But when their eyes met, something happened; for the first time

Maybe a spark? 
She knew her heart skipped a beat the next time their hands touched

And he decided to just shrug it off because he was too scared to feel anything again

She liked to call him names, pulling his leg, every now and then

And he wouldn’t let go one chance of mocking her
There was a certain charm to it all,

And it was no rocket science for them to not understand it

But they chose not to, at least for the while

They could feel that charisma build up, but too scared to share it
It might take a while, but when do good things ever come quick?

It was but only a matter of hearts,
And when two hearts  collide, it’s difficult to make sense of quite literally anything

Their story had just begun, with so many songs still unsung, so many words still unspoken

Even then a lot was already spoken,because they forgot that their eyes were the door to their soul. Eyes don’t require brain’s permission to communicate.
So who will win? His fear of being left alone again, or her determination to wear her heart on the sleeve? 

His secret attachment will win over or her insecurities shelved away in deep drawers of her heart? 

Will his muse become something more? Or will her fear take over her heart? 

Only time will tell…